Surprised by a Hawk

A hawk very similar to the one I encountered this morning

This morning as I began walking out the front door of my home, I was suddenly accosted by two squawking sparrows who flew close to my head just as I pulled the screen door behind me. I had been lost in thought about where I was going and things I had to do. The sparrows surprised me and rendered me nonplussed. A split second later, as the sparrows flew into the bushes next to my steps, a large hawk flew right in front of my face with its talons stretched out in front of its body. It was a large, beautiful bird, brown and white, with a sharp looking beak. I didn't quite understand at that precise moment what was happening. I literally felt the air whipping around my face as the hawk's wings flapped together. The hawk was maybe four to five inches from my face. The sparrows were now deep within the bushes, and my appearance on the the front steps of my home had apparently interrupted the trajectory of the hawk's flight path. He didn't expect me, nor had I expected him. It was not on my morning agenda to have an 'almost-collision' with a hawk. The hawk then suddenly swooped up and landed on a tree branch above the roof of my house. The hawk and I made eye contact, and he was obviously disappointed that his breakfast was now delayed. He waited a moment, then flew away.


I've never had an experience quite like this. Although I have always enjoyed seeing hawks, I've never been this close to one. I usually see them along the highway sitting on a telephone pole, and occasionally at reservoirs and forests. Last autumn my wife and I even got to see American Bald Eagles at the Mississinewa reservoir, one of which skimmed the surface of the water and caught a fish in its' talons. It is amazing to see such beautiful creatures of God.


This morning's event gave me a startle, and made me think about how things can happen, unexpectedly and often so quickly. Almost everyone can think of examples of the curves that life sometimes throws. Here you are, going along in your usual, normal routine, and then suddenly, out of nowhere, something unexpected materializes. I've been blindsided by events and things that I never seen coming. What about those times you take a phone call that you wished you'd never received? What about an accident that seemingly happens in a millisecond that couldn't be avoided. Once some things are set into motion, the conclusion becomes inevitable. The news is full of stories of unforeseen and untimely tragedies.


I am a big proponent of self-efficacy. Very few things in life are guaranteed and even fewer things are going to be given to you, so it's up to you to make things happen. Paths in life are not always easy, but they must be pursued if you want to get somewhere. I believe you've gotta make your way in this world, anticipating the worst and hoping for the best, and praying for guidance as you go.


There's lots of debate these days on why some people are successful while others seem to miss out entirely on "life's lottery." Many argue that success is just plain old luck, having been in the right place at the right time. Things such as: having been born into the right family, having the right upbringing and environment, getting into the right schools, and making the right connections...things that seem more of an element of fate than by anything we can control.


Meanwhile, others argue that if one is taught the essentials of success (things like discipline, strong self-direction skills, personal responsibility and a robust belief in self-efficacy) then the odds of prosperity and success are exponentially higher. I am reminded of a famous line in William Ernest Henley's poem, Invictus:


It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Although the tone of Henley's poem is more about a rebellious rebuttal to living a life of Godly submission, I think many people identify with being the master of their fate and captain of their soul---essentially living their lives as they see fit. They control the things that happen, as well as when and where.

However, there are many things beyond our control. We can't control every event, and anticipate all the possibilities. Some things are simply unforeseeable, or at a minimum, unpreventable. As Forrest Gump once said, "Life is like a box of chocolates: you never know what you're going to get." Or, if I may paraphrase...sometimes life is like being surprised by a hawk.

Where are the Gentlemen?

I caught part of a segment on MSNBC's Morning Joe a few days ago in which the topic of discussion was "What makes a gentleman?" The guests were GQ's Chris Mitchell and Jake Wood, the winner of GQ magazine's "Better Men, Better World" search. It seems to be a worthwhile endeavor. Aspiring to make the world a better place is noble & honorable, and the men who strive to do such deserve recognition.  Unfortunately, it is becoming increasingly rare to find men of character who stand above the rest and make a real difference in the world in which we live.  


What kinds of traits make up a gentleman? Who do you think of? For me, the word gentleman conjures up images from my grandfather's generation. I think of men of Hollywood fame, like Gregory Peck, Gary Cooper, and Humphrey Bogart. 

Morning Joe co-host Mika Brzezenzki thinks Robert Duvall is the quintessential gentleman. I agree. He is definitely old school. He has charm and the timeless qualities that define a gentleman. He seems like the type who would pull out a chair for lady, open doors for them, and would, if necessary, kick someone's butt (as Mika so eloquently put it).

I found Bryan William's depiction humorous. Corny, but funny. But it does seem chivalry is a thing of a by-gone era. My wife, when asked who she thinks of, said Sean Connery. Of course, who oozes coolness and gentlemanly qualities better than 007 himself? Who can compete with the tux-wearing, martini-sipping, villain-fighting Sean Connery, the one who made all the 007 women fall under his spell?

In today's culture, rudeness, misogyny  and vulgarity are commonplace. The question has to be asked: "Where are the gentlemen in today's world?"  In contemporary America, coarseness and disrespect have displaced manners and politeness. Behavior that used to be considered fringe and reserved for tawdry daytime television can be seen in almost any public setting. It is as if boorish behavior is a contest, but no one really wins.

I am not trying to open a Pandora's box of feminist wrath, but I think in spite of what some women say, they really do want a knight in shining armor. Women like men who are confident, self-assured, and assertive. Weak, milquetoast men need not apply. Cowardice and timidity are not traits of gentlemen, and I would guess most women are put off by these traits. I think a gentlemen is one who is manly, fearless, and courageous. And all the while demonstrating respect and a special tenderness to their woman and family. Maybe for women to admit the qualities they really like in men suggests a level of vulnerability, but I think that's OK. At the end of the day, well-disciplined masculinity wins over weak, passionless souls, and indifferent, obnoxious brutes. 

I have seen men whose behavior suggests they've never been taught the right way to treat a lady. I believe many confuse gentlemen-like behavior and politeness for weakness. Perhaps part of the problem is an increasingly fatherless society. And maybe some of it is a culture that tolerates behavior that devalues and dehumanizes others. Regardless the reasons, men can and should do better. 

Learning new things!

Today I learned quite a bit more about blogging. Thanks to Chris Goode and The Arc of Indiana, I've learned more than I thought possible about putting together a blog. What a really fun day, but I don't think my brain can hold much more! But here I am, thinking about what I learned, and had to jump on my blog to write for a spell.

After being asked about what I want to accomplish with writing a blog, I said that disability issues and similar contemporary topics were the primary things I want to focus on. I want to lend my voice to highlighting important issues that often do not get the attention that they deserve.

I also want want to write about things that are not so serious....stuff that may be a little whimsical and quirky. I often have random thoughts that could be characterized as such.

I also think writing should be fun, and it should be enjoyed by those who read it. Hopefully none of it bores people to death!

Well, we'll see how things progress...enough for tonight.